Grandma Gets It On

E1

Lillian Preskin's daughter arrives at the nursing home and threatens to send her mother off to a home run by nuns if she engages once more in sex with the residents. Their conversation, however, is interrupted by the arrival of a new war veteran... and Lillian has a penchant for veterans.

Diary of a Really, Really Mad Housewife

E2

It's a day in the life of an average American housewife, but for Dorothy Tibbit, it's ""one of those days."" When her garbage disposal conks out, Dorothy attempts to return home in time to meet the plumber but everything goes wrong. There are problems at the dry cleaners, the bank, the grocery store, the bus stop -- it's all enough to drive a housewife really, really mad...

Goin' to the Chapel

E3

This is two seperate episodes centering on Evelyn Sweets and her ""Chapel of Romance."" In ""Dummy Dearest,"" Evelyn is approached by a woman with a ventriloquist's dummy who pleads with Evelyn to marry them. Evelyn agrees, hoping to get the insane woman out of her chapel, but she soon comes to the realization that the dummy may be alive. In ""Being Out There,"" Evelyn is approached by Chester Neff, who assume's that her ad's tag, ""I'll marry anyone,"" means that she will become his wife.

Guns and Rosie

E4

Stiff Competition

E5

Here's to You, Mrs. Baldwin

E6

Trisha Springs Eternal

E7

Roz's college friend Trisha (guest star Betty White) comes to town and announces that she's taken the apartment next door to Roz... but Roz can't stand her. Quickly Roz finds that Trisha's destroying her life and driving her to the brink of madness.

Mom and Dad Day Afternoon

E8

Driving Miss Crazy

E9

The Jingle Belles

E10

Arlene Harvey and Kate Benton (guest star Bernadette Peters) are best friends and a commercial jingle songwriting team, but jealousy ensues when Kate is offered a record audition at Cosmic Records.

Teacher, Teacher

E11

This episode consists of two sketches about teachers. In the first, Carol plays Mrs. Cornfeld, a teacher who's pulled over by a former student during his first day on the job as a policeman. In the next skit, the whole company plays students (using their real first names) in a classroom on their teacher's final day.

Spudnik

E12

No News Is Bad News

E13

Christine Heyward, a respected journalist, arrives to discover that she's the only member of her news team retaining her job. The new head of the show, a game show creator, changes the format and the news becomes a game show with a ""MTV mentality."" Despite intial hesitation, Christine sells out but soon discovers she's been suckered.

Turning Tables

E14

That Little Extra Something

E15

The company attempts to put on a ""live show"" centering on an eccentric millionaire who's attempting to murder his wife. Complications ensue when Richard Kind's aunt Wanda (also played by Burnett) thinks that Carol has invited her to perform in the show.

A Fall from Grace

E16

Grace Fitchell is ""the bitch goddess of darkness."" While checking the dryer for a missing sock, she accidentally falls into the Land of Lost Stuff. In order to return home, she must find the last thing that she lost, but during her quest she encounters ghosts of her past that change her future (via Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol).

Suture Self

E17

High on LIfe

E18

Momma Needs a New Pair of Shoes

E19

Jewel of Denial

E20

Intimate Behavior

E21

Noah's Place

E22

Overnight Male

E23

For Love or Money

E24