E1
It’s not every day you meet all 6 of your soulmates at once.
E2
Wait a minute, all this crap I’ll never use is free? Sign me up. Sign-ups are free, right?
E3
Good god, making a man watch a whole baseball game? In one sitting? The Geneva Convention exists for a reason, you savages!
E4
You may have never actually worked out on this exercise machine, but at least you broke a sweat moving it in and then throwing it out?
E5
Your crappy hometown is the #1 tourist destination for every traveler that needs to go there so their parents aren’t sad!
E6
Every Thursday, I’ve got a thing at 7:30 after work, and it takes me 37 minutes to get there? That’s why I go to the Awkward Amount of Time Station!
E7
I am woman, hear me roar! Whoa, that was a really loud roar, so sorry about that.
E8
The world is really going to shit, and now’s the time to do something. Or maybe we’ll wait until it gets even shittier?
E9
Much of the food was provided thanks to Squanto (my roommate’s work friend’s DJ name).
E10
People have been buying bowls in a store since the beginning of stores and bowls. Isn’t it time for a change?
E11
Some people call them a crime against God, other people call them just plain delicious.
E12
Watch out. This Thanksgiving dinner is covered in live opinions.
E13
Someday you’ll paint those other 3 walls!
E14
Who could forget perhaps Ansel Adams’ greatest work, “Dog I Saw Near Trader Joe’s”?
E15
He’s a true loose cannon, by which we mean, not actually affiliated with the police force in any way.
E16
One year later, and we still don’t know how tall Grant is.
E17
It’s the best worst night of the year.
E18
When you have a child, your bones automatically turn into sidewalk chalk.
E19
Maybe wizards should figure out a way to conjure up Google Maps.
E20
GET THESE THINGS OUTTA ME.
E21
Everyone should have guns. That’s right. EVERYONE.
E22
My phone? Couldn’t it just be a distant relative or something?
E23
Watch The Big Boy Theory, every third Sunday at noon on NBS!
E24
You go (to jail) girl!
E25
I have a dream… ugh, wait, no one wants to hear about my dreams, do they?
E26
The sport where both teams lose!
E27
We haven’t seen it, but we sure have a lot of opinions about it.
E28
God also clogged the toilet in the break room.
E29
Tinder, Bumble, Hinge: all different dating apps, all crush your soul into dust.
E30
It’s not sad, but Rekha makes sure everyone else knows that.